Gratitude attitude
It is incredible how much our surrounding life can change when we change our attitude and vision for life in general.
Ten years ago, I could never imagine my life today. I was a different person then, and though I was fitting in all societal norms, I was definitely far away from liking myself or being truly happy. I was too busy taking care of everyone else's happiness. Obsessed with being perfect in the eyes of others, consumed by the greed for success, without bothering to find our what success actually meant for me.Galloping through life's gardens, bruised by the thorns and with dust in my eyes from following the steps of others, never finding time to notice the beauty or smell the essence of the roses, the gentle feeling of the green grass underneath my sore feet, or the blue skies filled with flying birds.
I had it all - is what I thought then, realising now how very little substance those words held.
From the moment we are born, we are taught how to fit into society, we are told right from wrong, we are given the "success map", and we are to obey the rules, and follow rigorously the path if we want to be accepted. I followed, I obeyed and I "succeeded", but the price was my personal happiness. A hefty price I couldn't afford, but yet paid without blinking.
When my "perfect life" fell apart in a matter of few months, I thought this is the end of me. I was devoured by sadness, guilt and fear. I no longer had the success society expected of me.
I was forced to take some very hard decisions, trembling under the pressure of not fitting into the norms. I was devastated. I was scared. I was a mess. I am not a fighter, but I am definitely a warrior. The saying- 'When you hit rock bottom, the only way is up", became my Moto.
I didn't then comprehend, that my collapse will gift me not only my freedom, but my happiness.
I was propelled to rely on my intuition and to learn how to be alone, without being lonely. I was pushed to find myself, to understand Me, to love me for who I am silencing the voice of others. I was given the opportunity to discover how beautiful life can be when I'm not concerned with norms, rules and success.
Every day is a blessing. I feel gratitude for all my hardships, they made me stronger and wiser, they shaped me into this wonderful person I love so much today. Every minute, I feel gratitude for being alive, for seeing the trees and smelling the flowers, for hearing the birds chirp, for feeling the sun on my skin. I feel lucky for my incredible family and true friends, for the people who I meet every day and for the opportunities I encounter... they all teach me something new. I learn and I sing.
Life is a gift, enjoy it....and don't forget to smile!
Nicole xxx
