Dreams

Making things possible - those are 3 words that often keep me awake at night. Can I make it all possible? - all that I want for myself that is. Can I be wise enough, strong enough, consistent or even ignorant enough to believe I can make it all possible? I am definitely a dreamer. Always was, always will be. In a way that has brought a lot of good into my life, as I fearlessly chase my dreams and take many risks along the way and in a way has hugely diminished my chances of actual success.

All the choices I have made in my life, big or small, difficult or easy have had benefits, but also many potential risks. Biggest problem is that, somehow I've never learned how to filter the choices without being emotionally bias and how to calculate the risk in a way that incorporates my personal morals and values without compromise or sacrifice. Sacrifices are tangible, solid actions, that can carry positive or negative consequences, but once done they do not tend to carry too big of an emotional burden. On the other hand compromises bear significant soul-stirring and could completely alter the emotional aspect of the outcome. One is deeply rooted in compassion and the other in frustration. In other words, with a sacrifice I am giving up something I do already have, and when compromising I only give up on an idea or something I want.

This leads me to a realisation I'm slightly unsure I fancy that very much. Seems like I am much more prone on giving up reality than the melodramatic leap of it, called fiction. If I know that 'Superwoman' is just a fictional character, than why am I killing myself trying to mimic her all the time?

Am I so lost in my perception than forgetting reality always wins? Is normality blurring with insanity?

Should I focus more on my knowledge than on my beliefs ? How different are those two?

Far too many serious questions for my tender Sunday spirit. Perhaps, I should have another cap of coffee, pack my suitcase for my Venice trip and forget about all my other dreams, as I am about the realise at least one of them.