Connotations

After my very long absence from the 'blog narrative', the last thing I thought I would write about on my come back was my courtesan experiences, or as people call it these days- escort business.

So it happens, after an amusing first meet up with a new individual, I got inspired.

Time and time again, I see the same pattern. People from all walks of life, with all aspects of intelligence and lack of it therefore, treat me like some kind of inferior little creature that has just swam out of the Sea of Eroticism to entertain their narrow souls. I have to admit, they've surely shown some sort of skill, at least in writing emails, to grab my attention and be graciously invited to my dream land. Little that they knew, it's not all that it takes to stay in it and fully experience joy.

I get it, the word 'Escort' has a special kind of connotation of dirty and slutty women, for more reasons than I can possibly mention. Stereotyping - I also get, but somehow my overly optimistic nature has always hoped to catch the attention of the 0.1% of men that have more brains than testosterone, more honour than wealth, and more charisma than body hair. I stupidly believed that by wearing my thoughts on my sleeve, and explicitly writing and saying all that I aspire and want out of my current venture, will give a good perspective to the suitors and non suitors.

Apparently, but not so surprisingly, all my thoughts are marketing, all my rules are fiction, and all of my personality is invented for the sake of getting few extra quid. Am I disappointed of the twisted translation of my blunt honesty into the low IQ reading of the male egos? - of coarse not, well...at least not every time. I know where I stand. I am well aware of the stigma that comes with what I do. It does not bother me the very least that some people can't read between the lines or think they can buy what is not on offer. What bothers me is that I see how little reason and logic is inhabiting most, who suppose to be, smart and well established human beings. Interestingly enough, their thoughts and reflections on who I am tell more about them than unveil about me. There is so much on display, only if you know how to look, but 'Looking is not as easy as it appears to be' - as the artist Ad Reinhardt once said. There is no visual analysis that is totally divorced from context, but the personal interpretation is based mainly on who you are and your experiences and not the actual reality.

With all that said, I have to tell you - I know who I am, I love who I am, and I am happier than most people I've ever met!

Know yourself, stay content and be unapologetic for it .....and don't forget to smile !

Nicole xxx